


are your wings the same pain as mine?

by remi_mae



Series: Everyone has a song inside of them [1]
Category: Super Sentai Series, 快盗戦隊ルパンレンジャー VS 警察戦隊パトレンジャー | Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patoranger
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Tooma spelled as Touma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 04:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20352508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remi_mae/pseuds/remi_mae
Summary: Becoming a phantom thief and a Lupinranger was just supposed to be a means to an end, just a way to get Aya back. Touma wasn't supposed to gain two surrogate younger siblings along the way.





	are your wings the same pain as mine?

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly headcanon/speculation, since we never really got anything of Touma's history, aside from "engaged to Aya" and "used to work at Ciel Blue." I might do things like this for Kairi and Umika too, but since we got more backstory for them I might have to go rewatch a few episodes first.
> 
> I loosely call this a <s>drabble</s> fic based on [Tomorrow X Together's Crown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3iSnJ663II). That's what it started off as, and I pretty much just listened to that while writing it (with the rest of the mini album thrown in for some variation lol.) It was intended to just be a drabble, but it... got longer. I don't know why that surprises me, I feel like I'm incapable of writing short (less than 1k) things lol

_"I'm standing between the cold sneer and the loneliness_  
_nobody can understand._

_But it's you_  
_Your existence changes my world like magic_  
_I'm not in pain anymore_  
_I got a crown on my head."_

As much as Touma hated to admit it, he'd grown fond of Kairi and Umika. They were, in a lot of ways, the younger siblings he'd never had but always kind of wanted. He was an only child with two busy parents; is it really all that surprising that he would have wanted a sibling or two? By the time he was a teenager, he'd stopped hoping for it, especially when his parents told him they were getting divorced, right before he started high school. He'll admit it probably made him keep to himself more. He'd never been the most outgoing person anyway, and he'd never really had friends at school, not really. He had a few, but they were school friends - they didn't see each other outside of school unless it was because they had to work on projects or study.

Aya was probably his first real friend, in a lot of ways. He could never say he fell for her instantly - he thought she was pretty, but pretty much everyone did. Touma can readily admit he probably wouldn't have talked to her if they hadn't been partnered together for a project in third year. There's a lot of things he can say he wouldn't have done if it weren't for her. He likely wouldn't have discovered a love of cooking, for one, or if he had, it would have taken a lot longer.

Neither of his parents cooked, but both of them would leave him money for food. On the odd days where they'd be home while he was, they'd bring home take-out. He usually tried to avoid those days, because even though they claimed the divorce was amaciable, they almost always ended up complaining about the other if Touma mentioned them. His mother was worse about it, which is why Touma hated the weeks he had to spend with her. At least his father could read the atmosphere and stopped talking when he realized he was making Touma uncomfortable. He loved both of his parents, but they had a tendency to treat him like a friend more than their child, and maybe in other circumstances he would have liked that, but he hated it.

Aya seemed to understand that in ways that the few friends he had didn't. 'The grass is always greener on the other side,' and all that. We always want what we don't have, think what someone else has is better, and that's how his friends viewed his parents. They saw it as him having more freedom than they did, while Touma viewed it as barely even having parents. Aya seemed to get that. She seemed to get most things about him, sometimes even when he didn't. She certainly would have noticed him becoming fond of Kairi and Umika before he did.

At first, Touma was the one who kept his distance the most. It probably didn't hurt that he was a few years older than they were, already an adult to Kairi barely being out of high school and Umika having dropped out. He didn't necessarily feel like he was babysitting them, but he certainly never felt like they were friends. He didn't want to be friends, didn't want to get attached. They had a job to do, one that would be dangerous, and they made a promise. Even if one of them fell, the others would carry on. Their wish was more important than any one of them. As long as they retrieved all the pieces of the Lupin Collection and got that wish, it didn't matter what happened to them.

Or so they said. The fact is, they spent two years together - they lived, worked at Jurer, trained, stole and fought together. You can't spend that much time together and expect to be able to keep the other people at arms length. Touma was growing fond of them long, long before he'd finally admit it, even just to himself.

It's probably the polices fault, in a lot of ways. Having someone opposing them that isn't just the Gangler's sort of pushes the three of them together, in a weird way. The other two help him keep his head, when he immediately wants to take their Collection pieces, because they're going to need them, might as well get them now. In the long run it's obviously much better that the police have them, because really, the three of them are much more concerned about getting the Collection pieces back. It also takes quite a long time to realize that the reason he's always on guard when the police are in Jurer isn't because he's worried about them figuring the three of them out, not completely. No, it takes a while for him to realize it's because he's worried that Kairi and Umika are going to get their hearts broken if things go the way he expects them to.

When they finally do, Touma finds himself wishing that he'd been wrong.

The police find out they're the phantom thieves, and they have to leave Jurer. He never thought he'd grow so fond of the small bistro, but even though they have bigger things to worry about, he finds himself missing it. Missing the routine of it, missing seeing Keiichirou, Tsukasa and Sakuya, even though he's not particularly close to any of them. It feels like it goes from "everything is going fine," to "everything is going to hell" in the time it takes to blink.

Even with everyone knowing they're the thieves, even with people knowing who they are and vying to arrest them, they won't give up. They have a mission, a job to complete, and that hasn't changed. What has changed is the fact that Touma doesn't want to lose Kairi or Umika. God, he wants Aya back more than anything, but what's the point if he loses one of the kids who have become the siblings he never had? What's the point of saving Aya, Shouri and Shiho if he loses Kairi or Umika?

The final fight against Zamigo kind of goes by in a blur, if he's entirely honest. He knows what happens, but it almost feels like was watching the fight from outside of his body, in ways. When it's over, when the ice around Umika and him shatters and it's just Kairi left, Touma finally feels like he can breathe.

They did it. They actually did it. They saved Aya. They saved Shouri and Shiho. Countless others too, probably, but they saved the important ones and that's all that really mattered. It almost feels bittersweet though - because while they trust Noël, there's no guarantee that he'll be able to get them out of Dogranio's safe. There's every chance they'll die in here, having saved their loved ones, but never getting to see them again. Umika's a lot more positive about it, sure that there has to be _something_ that will let Noël open the safe, that he'll find it, it's just a matter of time. Touma's much more realistic, though Umika says he's being pessimistic.

He has no doubt that Noël and Kogure will do their best, but he's also not going to hold his breath waiting for them.

Besides, even if they can't get them out, even if they die in here, at least they accomplished what they set out to do. Aya is alive, and hopefully she'll be happy, and that's all Touma wanted anyway. When they started, as long as it got Aya back, he was willing to do anything, even die if he had to. His actual fate had never crossed his mind, and in some ways, death would almost be nicer - and he hates himself for thinking it, but at least he's not alone. He'd much rather Kairi be back with his brother, and Umika with her friend, have them be safe and not stuck in one. If he knows them half as well as he thinks he does by now though, the two of them are probably thinking much the same.

He doesn't want them here, but he's glad he's not alone. He's sure if it was any one of them stuck alone, the isolation probably would have driven them to madness by the time they were saved, if they were ever saved.

Umika tries to lighten the mood whenever it gets a little too much, rambles on about what she wants to do when Noël figures out a way to get them out. It's always 'when' and never 'if,' and Touma has to admire her positivity. They do talk about it though, what they want to do. Kairi doesn't know, says if they can reopen Jurer, he'd probably just work there. Umika wants to design clothes, wants to go to college. Touma isn't really sure what he wants either. He hadn't thought of it until Kairi mentioned it, but if they could reopen the bistro, he'd probably be content just working there.

He never says it, but he's honestly a little scared that if they do get saved that Aya will have moved on. She's the only person he's ever loved, if he's honest (and he is. It's not something he could lie about.) He knows he could live without her, has proved it, but he'd been fighting towards getting her back the entire time. If she moved on, if she was _happy_, Touma would let her go, but he's not quite sure what he would do after.

He doesn't have to though, because when they're finally, _finally_ released from that damned safe, there are three people waiting. Touma almost doesn't believe it, but if it's a dream, he never wants to wake up, because Aya is _here_. She's here, and he doesn't even care that there are other people around, he's barely holding back tears as he runs to her, _can't_ hold them back as he pulls away from her to just _look_ at her.

It felt like he'd finally been able to breathe again after defeating Zamigo, but now it feels like an entire weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He's pretty sure Aya's the only thing keeping him from just collapsing on the ground, which is fine because he doesn't want to let her go, afraid that if he let go, even for a just a second, that she'd disappear again.

Aya doesn't seem to mind, holding him just as close, mumbling soothing words that go in one ear and out the next, because it doesn't even matter what she's saying. She's here, and he's here, and they're both alive. His entire little makeshift family is _alive_, and everything, absolutely _everything_, they've gone through was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not super great with the idea of requests (I have anxiety and I feel like I won't live up to expectations) but I'm definitely open to the idea of prompts! [Here](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RRQWIt3LxOqIprBPZKtFXOzgq4n05WNEfKkz1_TMKLo/edit?usp=sharing) is a list of Super Sentai and Kamen Rider shows, with the ones I've finished marked off - I'll update the list as I finish shows (I'm currently on episode 33 of Kamen Rider Wizard, and I'm about halfway through Kamen Rider Build and Drive, with Ghost and Ex-Aid next on my list after I finish those, and I'm up to date with Ryusoulger.) If you have an prompt ideas - actual prompts, or songs you think fit specific characters, pairings or shows - feel free to send them to me on my [writing tumblr](https://remi-mae.tumblr.com/ask), just mention that it's a prompt. I can't guarantee I'll do every prompt, but I'll certainly try, though I will say I don't do smut, so don't even ask.


End file.
